Friday, March 16, 2018

friday favorites: internet edition

Feels like the internet/world is going a little crazy these days.
SO I just wanted to take a quick moment to share some awesome stuff on the internet!


Jon Jorgenson uses spoken word to share some thoughts on youth within the church. 
I love the poetic nature of his words and I love how he presents his message. 

I've been supper into TED Talks lately. 
Loyd Pendleton shares how he went from skeptic to believer in the Housing First approach to homelessness -- providing the displaced with short-term assistance to find permanent housing quickly and without conditions -- and how it led to a 91 percent reduction in chronic homelessness over a ten-year period in Utah. 
I'm very interested in homelessness and this shared insight that made me think. 

Practicing listening. Really really really listening. 

Found this on Pinterest. Not gonna lie, was probably procrastinating because everyone knows that's what Pinterest is for. 
anyways, this spoke such truth into my current struggles of learning to walk in blind faith. 
I kinda love it. 

People react to being called beautiful. All. the. feels. 

My friend Vanessa is kinda amazing. Not only does she post regularly (which we all know is a real struggle) her words are so beautiful. And this particular post I've read like 5 times. 

this post brought me to tears because my goodness. 
the photography is beautiful.
the words are deep and rich and full of grace.

guys JULIA POSTED HER BEDROOM TOUR and it's seriously the most perfect thing I've ever seen. It's like if Pinterest and a Jesus-loving-hippie had a child. 

my friend Elizabeth writes lots of awesome things but this one struck a chord. 



"You may be nervous about the road ahead, that even though you know that you’re healing and taking the correct steps for your health, it may affect your future as a dancer. The shape of your body does not in any way define your talent and your capability. Embrace your health, embrace your life and embrace the fact that dance is still going to be an integral, and such a rewarding part of it. Never let the shape of your body dictate the activities that you participate in, and them communities you become a part of." 

^This is a quote I read somewhere and saved on my phone and for the life of me I cannot remember where I found it. BUT I really really like it.

The Dance Warm-up You *should* Be Getting

I follow a bunch of dance-related magazines on Facebook, and this was definitely a standout article. I'm always changing my pre-class/rehearsal warm-up so I really liked these suggestions.

Kirsten is one of my absolute favorite people on the internet.
She makes awesome dance, health and wellness videos and is just the sweetest person.

So Yeah. 
What are your current internet favorites?
Tell me in the comments or a post of your own! 

Thursday, March 8, 2018


We are told how to fix our problem areas.
How to slim our thighs, chisel our abdomens into Pinterest worthy stomachs, tone our arms.
I am told this dress looks flattering on me; "very slimming"

Yet I am told to love the person in I see in the mirror; to embrace my weight, my size, my thighs and all.

We are pushed to resolve ourselves to losing weight over the new year.
We are told to be happy with ourselves.
We are told to strive for perfection.

I am told order the salad; but in order to impress him, order the burger.
We are told to cut out soy, gluten, dairy, meat, GMO’s, sugar, animal products, carbohydrates, legumes, fat, all things processed, anything inorganic, high cholesterol, high sodium.
And by high cholesterol and high sodium, I mean all sodium and cholesterol.
We are told to enjoy food.

We are told we are too small, too big, too short, too tall. We are too skinny, too fat, too underdressed, too overdressed.
I am told my heart is what matters.

I hear a lot of voices telling me a lot of things. But I have senses besides than my ears.
I have eyes that see beautiful women all around me, inspiring, guiding, helping others.
I smell change in our old stereotyped ideas, but I also see how these ideas have been embedded into us.
I touch uncertainty as I watch others move with confidence.

I feel my heart.
Beating, searching, questioning, and absorbing all these things.
My legs are not a problem.
My heath is not determined by the latest dieting fad.
And my value as a human being isn’t tangled up in the food on my plate, the image in the mirror, or the cruel opinions of others.
No no. My value comes from something much greater than all that.
And those voices that surround me? They can have their opinion. And I’ll have mine.

note: hey friends of the interweb! thanks for reading! this is a poem I wrote and published quite a while ago, but thought it could see the light of day once again.

Monday, March 5, 2018

the moment before

It's in that moment. 
You feel the sting. 
Bitterness burns in your mouth. 
Your fists and jaw muscles clench. 

And you choose. 

All rage pluses in your blood, ready to break forth. 
All anger and hurt pushes your heart into a panic. 
Your fight instinct is ready.

But deep below the raging waters, a calm tugs. 
Far far far below it asks you to wait 
-just one more moment-
Before the thunder claps. 

It's deep and quiet and requires looking within before looking out.

And in that moment you're left with a choice. 
A choice between erupting or putting the explosives away.
oice between erupting or putting the explosives away.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018


Obedience is weirdly peaceful and uncomfortable.
It's scary and frightening because it feels like a loss of control;
Yet at the same time it's full of hope and comfort.

I'm learning to walk in submission to the will of God.
And I'm learning what a courageous, brave, humble, tenacious woman he is calling me to become.

It scares the crap out of me.
It calls me to things that completely confuse me.
But makes me realize how much beauty there is in obedience.

I'm learning to fly.
I'm learning to fly knowing he holds the course of the wind,
 and he's written my life's migration deeper then I could ever understand.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

choosing to dance in the shower

walking through trees.

dancing in the shower.

singing opera in the car.

drinking mcdonalds milkshake.


choosing to remember the God of the Israelite's. 

working to draw near to God even when he feels far. 

trying to purify my heart of sin.

learning to grieve this broken world.

 clinging to these words:

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
-james 4:7-10

Sunday, February 18, 2018

morning isn't what I expected.

Great are you Lord.
You are holy and just. 
Your ways are perfect and beautiful and fair.
You are in control of what is happening.

It's now morning.
It's a new day.
The sun is still behind the clouds.
And although the fear still pulses through my veins-
although the tears of night still fall on my cheeks-
It's a new day.
Morning has come, however rainy and cloudy it may be.

Your love endures.
Your love is faithful.
Teach me of faith Lord.
Teach me about blind, childlike faith.

God, new pages are hard. 
New stories are exhausting.
But you are good.
Your love remains.
Your love is faithful.\
Your good.

You're here in the morning just like you're here in the night.
Teach me O Lord, not to fear the night.

-excerpt from my journal 2.17.18

I love a good analogy.
Give me all the metaphors and parables and abstract poetry.
To Kill A Mockingbird is a beautiful book in so many ways.
I love analogy so much that I try to write them on occasion. (usually not very successfully but whateevvver)

This past year I've written a lot about life in the night.
Walking and sitting in darkness.
The fear that comes with nighttime.
That morning is coming

Two nights ago was one of the hardest in a long time.
It was so emotional and beautiful, but also very terrifying and confusing.
It lasted hundreds of hours.

And then I woke up,
cheeks stained in tears.
Face swollen and stomach in knots.
And it was morning.

I thought morning would come full of sunshine and chirping birds.
I thought I would recover from the trauma of my friend's death with a fresh face,
ready to chase rainbows.

And it wasn't what I expected.

But I need to learn that just because the sun is behind clouds, doesn't mean it isn't there at all.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

anything but (simple)

sometimes I wonder how they can make something complex so simple.
I ask questions in my head over and over
as I hear their black and white words.

I clench my jaw and lower my eyes
and wonder why these people feel so wiser and superior.
I want to stop listening but I can't because,
then how am I going to shout internally?

everyone nods and seemingly agrees
they praise these simplified answers

and I feel angry that I can't just jump on the bandwagon.
because I can't
and they don't understand what there're talking about

but there I was with clenched fists and a pounding heart.
wondering if young people know stuff too.

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