Sunday, April 9, 2017

remember to feel the sun

There is something healing about the sunshine.
It peaks out, chasing away the clouds.
It shines bright and warm, illuminating through the grey blanket that has blurred reality for so long.

The sun comes and reminds me that bones do thaw.
It paints to sky blue and lures people outside,
our lungs craving to be filled with oxygen.



I've been sad lately.
The sad that seemingly comes from nowhere, yet looms and cripples me.
I miss my dear friend who died six months ago.
My heart aches from the pain and loss and trauma that is all so very fresh.

It's seemed impossible to leave my house, much less plan the next five years of my life.

But the sun pokes out,
and shines high and bright.
It evaporates rain,
burns out darkness,
reminding me that
flowers can still bloom.
the sun still rises
and God doesn't keep us in the rain forever. 

Sunday, March 26, 2017

don't be a victim [thoughts on love/attention neediness]


Sometimes we sit and watch other people take attention.
They take take take.
And usually it's justified,
but sometimes it's not.

Nerveless, we watch.
And sometimes, I want/need some of that love too.
So I silently begin to feel hurt.
I harbor resentment on why no-one reads my mind.
Why no one-cares enough to give me love and attention.

But that's exactly it-
people aren't mind readers.
Your friends are all psychologists,
analyzing your every finger twitch,

So please, let's stop being victims.
Stop watching
and being sad
and feeling hurt and alone.

Stand up, you strong and valuable woman,
For you are absolutely worthy of love and attention-
your heavenly father hears your every ache.
You are loved.
You are valuable.
And you are absolutely not alone.
  

Thursday, March 16, 2017

hey there tired soul

hey there tired soul.
these days are long, jam packed with routine and deadlines.
coffee is frequent, sleep is not.
and we pull ourselves together.
and it goes
on
and on
and on.

so, you tired soul,
take a breath.
come on, just do it.
in through your nostrils.
now out through your mouth.

one more time.

feel that?

your hearts still beating,
waiting to hear the next chapter.
your lungs still fill,
giving you what you need to take the next breath.
and God is still good,
holding you tight,
you tired, weary soul. 

Thursday, March 9, 2017

rain

the rain drips down
drowning out sound
filling the holes
hiding the moles
making me feel old.
old and cold and soggy and groggy.

drip
drip
plop.

plop
drip
drop.

drop
plop
drip.

round
and down
and all with out sound
my mind pounds
and thounds
waiting to drown
the confusion that keeps going round and round

Sunday, March 5, 2017

things that make me happy


flowers
chocolate cupcakes
painted nails
a new week in my planner
hot coffee
rain
honest conversations
jeans
dancing
pea coats
big smiles
other people's joy
cozy gatherings
quiet
plum & grey

//////////////////////////////////////
spending moments remembering that happiness is the result of surroundings,
but joy is the understanding of who God is and what he has done.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

i need some help!

heyo beautiful peoples of the interweb-

I need some advice.
I'm doing some research about being a "church kid" and I want your ideas and opinions!
Tell me:
1) what's the fist thing that crosses your mind when I say "church kid"?
2) what (from your experience) is the hardest part about growing up as a church kid?
3) anything else you want to say about the topic!!

thanks so much!!!!
xxoxo

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

hey God, it's me, elissa.


Why can't I just learn all the life lessons already?
Like, seriously God.
All this waiting and unknown is getting kinda old; can't you just tell me what you're thinking?

I know dependence on you is a good lesson and all, but I was kind of hoping to be done with it by now.

Maybe we could move on to joy?
Or, say, faithfulness?
I could settle for a real good conviction on teaching Sunday school twice a month, as opposed to once a month.

God, I'd appreciate some clear "how to" manuals, if that isn't too much to ask.
Yeah, the Bible is awesome and all...
but I'm not exactly finding the answers I was looking for.

You see, I was looking for closure on some trauma.
I looked and it told me that trauma is part of the broken world,
and you hold me in every situation.

I was hoping you could take my guilt from me,
but the Bible said that I needed to lay it at your feet.

I asked about a situation that I would like to stay silent in
 (hint: I was looking for some backup)
But then the Bible said something about speaking truth loudly, which wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for.

So okay, fine.
 I'll try to learn grace and contentment and peace and self-sacrifice.
I'll remember: your will. not mine. 

But if you happen to change your mind, feel free to drop of that instruction manual.
It's the second mailbox.