Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts

Thursday, December 29, 2016

happenings of late


Heyo!

I'm really sorry for my lack of content lately. December has been filled with non-stop dance, and school, and dance and school and dance and school and school and dance. and school. 
The collage search and SATs are beginning to breathe down my neck and so be honest, it's so overwhelming. I've been asked approximately fifty thousand times about my "after high school plans" during this holiday season and I really have nothing to say. I have so many ideas and interests, but I'm struggling to balance reality and dreams.

To be honest, this semester has been nothing I hoped it would be. I'm taking hard classes, but I micromanaged my schedule in September so that it would be manageable. I'm on a good track and I was trying to hard to be ahead of the game, to be prepared and responsible. But then all of the sudden I'm poking at food, staring at text books without seeing a word, and laying awake at three in the morning. Everyone is done with their shallow, public sobs. And we are left missing.

There have been two adult suicides in our little town within the past two weeks. Two. I fight fear of another phone call. Things bring me back to those horrible moments. But I'm looking for beautiful. I'm searching
searching
searching
for hope and the light of Jesus in this time.

The simple things remind me that I cannot do any of this on my own strength- that I need help constantly. My actions need grace. My studies needs perseverance. My relationships need Jesus. And in all reality, this isn't a bad place to be. Because it's in my complete and utter broken and emptiness that I realize my need for a savior.

So this is where I'm at. Thanks for sticking around with me- I really appreciate you guys:)
Also, check out my updated other good stuff page and my latest post on BURNING YOUTH.

much love//elissa

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Awkward and Awesome: Round One



Hello everyone! I've decided to start doing a "Awkward and Awesome" post every few weeks. (a.k.a. every few months...) Basically, I'll catch you up on all my awkward and awesome happenings. Like the time I peed my pants on a hike with a bunch of kids or when or when I was pretty sure the dental assistant thought I was illiterate... so here we go!

Awkward: I was at a costume fitting for party scene in The Nutcracker, and I had tried on about fifty-billion different dress/skirt/jacket combinations. It was outfit variation 50,000,000,001 and I stood staring in the mirror while taking to the costume mistress. "I don't know, it's fine if you like it," I told her. "I guess I just think it's a little plain Jane." I promptly turned around to find not only the costume mistress, but our artistic director who's name is Jane. Ahem.

Awesome:  What's awesome?  Well, I totally didn't fail my chemistry exam that I was sure I had. And even thought I'm just generally better at math based sciences, I am still terrified to mention any of my quiz or exam grades. Because every one is brilliant. There are no kids that turn it late homework or procrastinate on studying. They are all so smart. And then there's me.

Awkward: Apparently all my awkward things have to do with Nutcracker. So we have new marzipan costumes this year. Yep. There basically a blue version of the costume Sandra Bullock wears in Miss Congeniality for her talent. Without the wedding decorations on her arms.
Here is a visual aid:

Uh-hmm. And I bet the girls that previously wore them were five foot eleven and ninety pounds, because they are t-i-g-h-t.  Let's just say that nothing is going anywhere. And I'm going to leave it at that. 

Awesome:  It's almost December, and December is my-most-favoriteist month of the year. Warm fires, way too much chocolate on my hands, Tchaikovsky, Amy Grant and Michael Buble playing constantly. Nutcracker, my birthday, Christmas, and time shared with friends. Oh, yeah, and I will be  licensed driver! 

And that just about wraps up round one of Awkward and Awesome. So now I'm curious: what are your resent awkward and awesome moments? 

Thanks for visiting Letters to Jayna! Please take a moment to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, feel free to find me on Bloglovin', Google+ and Blogger! Happy reading! 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

You can't make everyone happy-You are not Nutella.

You guys, I finished biology and English.

I know!!! *This is where you applaud*



  It has been one of the longest, hardest school years of my life. I spent many, many, many, long hours hunched over a laptop or sitting at my kitchen table smelling brain smoke. My eyeballs have felt like they were on fire from all the work mean-old-me was making them do. I'm sure my teachers are excited to finally stop receiving five e-mail's from me, per week.

  Last week was the academic award ceremony/graduation of the seniors. It was long and I was ready to go home, take of my bra and make-up, curl up to do some Facebook stalking. The redeeming factor was the little stack of certificates and a ugly plack.

  ....... Honor Roll
   Chapel Team....
.....Peer Tudor..
     ....Student of the Year...

It was a satisfying feeling to stick those in my portfolio.

When the buzz-buzz of alarm number three went off the next morning, math was the first thing on the "productive agenda". The math that I got seriously behind in, and will be doing for the next month or so. And even though my teachers told me nice things, and I was given congratulatory hugs, and I had a nice stack of papers; you guys, I felt like a failure.


 A very stupid failure.
Someone who didn't get a single top grade.
Someone who abandoned her French.
Someone who was the stupid child who would never graduate high school, all because she didn't get her lazy butt to do Algebra.

  And I invited those stupid lies into my heart. I let them hang out.
And let me tell you, they made themselves very comfortable. And they called in their friends.

I'm not going to go into the gritty details, but it wasn't a fun place.

 You guys, I am not the very-stupidest-person-to-ever-crawl-the-earth.
I am not a failure to my teachers.
  I am a hard worker, who's high standards are my demise.
I am a valuable and loved child to my parents.
   My friends believe in me, and don't dwell in my flaws.
Most importantly, I am perfect and complete servant before my God.

 What about you?

Are you the "disappointment child"?
The "ugly duckling"?
  The "worst friend ever"?

No. You are not. You are not to lost, to wrong, or to 'whatever' to change the world.
Your demands of yourself may be working against your design from God. Now, I'm not saying dedication and perseverance are wrong or bad. I think these are some of the most important character traits to develop. But if you are like me, and let lies sneak in because of this, hear me.
No good can come from listening and believing lies.



Remember- we are works in progress in God's timing. Not our own.

Monday, May 25, 2015

What I'm Up Too....


This quote perfectly sums my current emotional state. I am completely overwhelmed with the sheer mass of things I need to do. 7 page science paper. Research paper. Final biology exam. Algebra. Let's not forget the never ending Algebra. Yay.

Oh yeah, and my six hour rehearsal tomorrow.

I am slightly panicked. A little irritable. And totally ready for summer break.

  Cancer is once again touching a dear family friend. Big sis is looking at collages. We got rid of our car seats yesterday.

 And in the midst of this panic, this feeling of overwhelm, I keep coming back to these verses:


"But I trust in you, Lord;    I say, “You are my God.”  My times are in your hands;
    deliver me from the hands of my enemies,    from those who pursue me.  Let your face shine on your servant;
    save me in your unfailing love. "-Psalm 31: 14-16

Q: Do you find it easier to trust God when you are feeling in control, or totally overwhelmed? 

Thank you so much for stopping by Letters to Jayna. Please take a moment to leave a comment, and let me know what you think! Also, feel free to follow me on Bloglovin, Google+, and Blogger for the latest updates!

Monday, December 15, 2014

I can do it! (I hope...)


Oh my. Blaahhhhh!! Let me explain to you why my blogging has disappeared- biology exams, puking, Christmas shopping, dance. Plus, yours truly is getting her wisdom teeth out on Friday. Yup. All four of them. So I need to get all my Christmas projects done before then. Plus I really need to get my butt in gear for my science fair project.

   Any words of advice as far as wisdom teeth go?

But do not fear friends- I have lots of ideas planned for the blog, and I am so excited to get writing!

Q: What have you been up too in these past few weeks?

 -Elissa