Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts

Sunday, August 28, 2016

i am a gossip

it started out as a harmless, giggly conversation.
A silly moment. 
And then all of the sudden my friend looked at me and said,
"Elissa, you do gossip a lot." 

I choked.
I was the only Christian in that room
The only one with the responsibllity to be a bright light in a darkened world.

"It's not nessicarly a bad thing..." She went on.
But the words cut down through all the layers and hit my core.

I am a gossip.

These words taste like vinegar comming out of my mouth.
They rock around in my brain,
Tumbling into every thought.

They cut through my crap and cockiness in which I stood before God last night.

For I am a gossip.

And I hate it.
I hate this ugliness inside of me,
This sword I have deeply misused.

I hate that I'm seen as a gossip to some non-Christian friends.
I hate that I bring shame to the name of Jesus on this earth.
I hate it.

For I am ashamed of this sin.
I am naked in my inadequacies.
And aware of my failure.

And Jesus knows.
He knows me as I sit with my two little gossip buddies,
Yet he loves me fully.
He knows me as I keep record of wrong,
Yet he loves me endlessly.
He hears me tarnish his gift,
Yet he still loves me.
More then I could ever ask or imagine.

For our God loves us so greatly that he will never change the depth of his love.
In any moment.
In any action.
In any situation.

For we, my brothers and sisters, are loved by a very big God.
Bigger then any shame.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Au Revoir Potins!

(Goodbye gossip in French, for those of you who aren't in French I) 

So Lent started a week and a half ago, (just to make you who forgot feel bad). And instead of giving up something lame, I decided to give up something that is lame from it's very root.
I really hate talking about talking about gossip. And being in highschool, it's something that pretty much everyone is hypocritical about. Me too. I enjoy hearing that juicy piece of information about others. I see something weird, and I want to tell someone. I seriously am genuinely nosy about things I really don't need to know about.

So yep. No gossip is coming out of my mouth. And it's hard you guys! I currently have a piece of information that I want to ask a friend about, but I can't. That isn't something I'm proud of. Gossip is fun- it gives a feeling of connection and belonging. But it is so dangerous- it's leaves scars deep in others hearts. It's not a coveted trait. And it is not fun being gossiped about.

Ladies, we have a bad reputation for being gossips, and I've helped create that reputation. I hope and pray that I can change this in myself. I am striving to look for the good in people who annoy the crap out of me. I'm trying to assume the best of others, and understand their hearts. It's hard- so hard!
But lets change.
Let's overcome this battle we fight


Sunday, February 8, 2015

Five things I've Learned about Friendship


   I love my friends. I have some of the sweetest, caring, thoughtful people in my life. Every time I get of the phone with Jayna I can't stop smiling, because she is amazing. I have the friends I have, because something drew us together. Same with you. Your friends saw a sparkle in you that they were attracted to. You have inside stories and a lot of dirt on each other. It is a wonderful feeling. 

    There are times in life that we are overflowing with friends, and there are other times that it's lonely. It can be hard to not have good friends- it can be very lonely, isolating, and makes you wonder about you. Are you not good enough? Is there something wrong with you? Why don't you have any friends?

     I understand those feelings because I have experienced some of that. There was a time in middle school were a friend of mine took a very mean direction. She filled my head with lies, and it hurt. My heart felt betrayed because of our history. We has sleepovers, and attended each others birthday parties. So what did I do? Her bulling was disguised in the form of "joking", and I took the "joking" personally. It was a time where I felt it was my fault, and something was wrong with me.

    Now that we are older, and time has passed, we get along. I still don't agree with all her choices and her personality can rub me the wrong way. But, I now understand that she was insecure, and putting her insecurity on me. The reason I share that with you, is because I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you. Weather you are in a time of your life that your are surrounded by friends or not, you are there for a reason.

 You guys, by no means do I consider myself a perfect friend. I struggle to just be quiet and listen to my friends hearts. I forget to send birthday cards. Sometimes I ignore a phone call and continue to surf Pintrest. But as I continue to learn about love, and see the kindness others have poured out on me, I begin to realize this huge, beautiful, responsibility I have. I want to serve my friends, to love them, and to share life with them.

   Here are a few things I have been learning about friendship:

1. Send a darn card.
2. Make a phone call. Just to chat
3. The only person you can change is yourself.
4. They don't know what's bothering you, unless you tell them
5. Remind them that you love them


 Q: Do you feel more like a loner or surrounded? What would you add to the list?
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