Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Friday, September 15, 2017

morning is coming [STAY. ft. me]


stay.

but why?
why stick around when every second crawls over you with shame and exhaust?
why continue to walk through each day like this? 
why live when dying would be so much easier? 

stay. 
because oh friend, you are in the night. 
you are fighting and I know it's beyond hard. 
I know it feels like you are too far gone. 
I know you think we would be better off without you. 

stay.
because let me tell you a secret: 
this is not the end of your story. 

the people you've convinced yourself are tired of dealing with you,
want more years to love you

the shame that is so heavy to carry, 
doesn't have to be carried alone

the exhaustion of life will heal with change and rest,
and doesn't warrant a very permanent sleep.

the terrifying idea that you are too far gone,
is nothing but a lie.   

the thought that life will never get better,
couldn't be more untrue. 

you, dear friend, are in the night. 
and the night is hard, long, scary, and exhausting. 
the night brings emotion that you are scared to face.
but please, don't hide it forever. 
because holding those emotions in, all alone, is what keeps us in the night. 

and I know it's impossible to see, 
but morning is coming. 
it's way closer than you think.
it's not always going to be fun, but it will get better

you will laugh again. 
you will feel the sun.
you will be free from what's holding you down. 
you will be stronger than the night,
and live to see morning. 

so please, stay. 
morning is coming.

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if you are struggling, please reach out to talk with someone. 1-800-273-8255 is a awesome, safe, confidential resource. please please please reach out. 

Thursday, September 14, 2017

because your light matters [STAY. ft. elizabeth]


when sweet sweet elissa asked me to write a post on the word "stay" in honor of World Suicide Prevention Week and her dear friend Maddy who passed away on Oct. 4th, it got me thinking of a lot of moments in my life where "stay" was difficult. I remember having to move and loving where we lived, i wanted to stay. i remember my dad holding on to the last of his days, being told i had to let him go, when all i wanted was for him to stay with me. I remember the anxiety and sadness i felt, and not wanting to stay anymore. but most of all, i remember the whisper i heard, telling me to "stay," because i was never alone.


so what does stay mean to you? for me, i see it different ways


i. staying present. it's hard these days to sometimes just keep yourself planted in the now, instead of alway being worried about the future. but staying present, taking note of where you are and respecting that, that's what staying should look like.

ii. staying faithful. this is a hard one sometimes, because it's easy to want to do your own thing and to think you can figure it all out on your own, but stay faithful to the Lord. seek his presence, give him your time, and live your life in step with Christ. stay faithful, fighting the good fight.

iii. staying hopeful. it hurts when people tell you to just be positive, because i get it, that's not always possible, but don't lose hope. one of the many many wonderful things that our Lord gives us, is never-ending, unrelenting, overflowing grace and hope. because of him, we can have hope for the future and say "it is well with my soul."

so honey, i know life is hard, i know there are struggles that no one knows about, that you're ashamed of, that you keep hidden in the darkest corner of your closet. i know, because i've been there, i've hid in that closet, fists held tight, eyes blurred, and silent sobs so no one would hear. it's so lonely, and scary, and small, but you know what dear friends? that small closet is never too small for God. stay, and find refuge in him. stay, because your light matters.


stay-what does that word make you think?

love you all my sweet friends,

Elizabeth



so Elizabeth is kinda one of my favorite people in the world- beyond the blogosphere, I actually get to see her in real life, which is just as awesome as you would imagine. Elizabeth blogs over at elizabeth anne, and she also writes poetry at chasing moonlight. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to say "hey!' in the comments below!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

kinder by caring [STAY. ft. vanessa]


After I had met some people who struggled with mental illnesses I found myself wanting to be there for more people. I never understood how much of an impact mental illnesses have on someone's lives until I met people who struggle with anxiety, depression, eating disorders and other mental illnesses. These people opened my eyes to what having a mental illness is like and I am so blessed to have had that opportunity.

Mental illnesses make it impossible for people to stay present in their lives. They make everyday tasks into huge challenges so when someone has to deal with a lot of little tasks everyday one can become very overwhelmed. Staying present in their lives becomes a very hard thing for people to do when they are preoccupied with little tasks that become so much bigger.

Imagine living your life with worries and fears. Fixating over what people are thinking and being taken down by the thoughts in your head. That's a hard way to live. Living in the moment completely vanishes because you are living in the past or the present. It's a hard life to live.

It's important to show compassion to every human being because you never know what they are going through. It's hard for someone to openly admit they are struggling so by being there for someone you can provide them with a little bit of support to make their day easier. Different people will need different kinds of support so just because one thing doesn't work does not mean you should give up and move on. It's about treating everyone like friends so they feel comfortable and welcomed in this world.

Care for others by:
-Telling people if they need anything you will try your best
-Being friendly
-Offering a listening ear
-Sending little notes of encouragement
-Small acts of kindness
-Giving out hugs
-Respecting boundaries
-Telling people how much they mean to you

Suicide is one of the big topics when it comes to mental health but there is still a huge part of society that has a hard time talking about it. All mental illnesses can lead to suicide and that is a crazy thing. Simply said, show your support to every human being and you'll be able to help prevent people from taking their lives. It's all about being kind to one another.

Don't forget about yourself. Sometimes we put so much focus on other people and things we forget to check in with how we are doing mentally. It's important to take care of your mental health too! Don't neglect yourself. Every once in a while do a check in to see how you are doing.

Self-care check-in questions:
-How have I been feeling the past few days on a scale from 1-10?
-Have there been things on my mind that are drowning my thoughts?
-How have I been sleeping recently?
-Am I taking care of my personal needs?
-Do I spend time with positive people?

We all matter so much in this world so stay with us and make the world a kinder place. Care for one another and yourself so that we can strive as a community of human beings.

thanks for coming back for day 3 of Suicide Prevention Week! my dear friend Vanessa (who blogs at Simply Me) so willingly jumped on board to this project, and I'm so thankful for her wise words!  Go check out her blog and show her some love in the comments! 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

there is hope [STAY. ft. grace anne]

hi.


i don't know you, not really


and you don't know me


not really


but i do know something about you


you were born to run


it's woven into your veins, as innate as breathing


"the fight or flight instinct", science teachers tell us


our reaction to stress or fear


and sometimes, you're just too tired to fight


so you take flight


you run and run and just want to keep running, trying to escape the echoes in your head


and you're gasping, not knowing where to go, just knowing that you've got to run, got to get away


stay


stay, darling, stay


when it all feels like too much


and you can't see two feet in front of you


and everything is closing in


stay


i know i know i know it's hard


and you don't want to fight anymore


because what's the point? it never gets better, so what's the point? what else is there to do?


stay


because let me tell you a secret


you're not going to be stuck here forever. you're not trapped in the dark forever. light breaks through, night turns to day, and that string pulled tight around your lungs breaks and you can finally breathe. 


but how can you feel the warmth of the light on your skin if you don't stay? 


stay


stay, because there is hope. stay, because there is joy. stay, because there is healing. 


stay


stay, because the number of people who love you far surpasses anything you would probably even imagine. stay, because there are sunsets that you still haven't seen and music you still haven't listened to and adventures you still haven't had. stay, because you have so many more things to do. so many people to meet. stay for those dreams still curled up inside you. stories to write, places to go, things to create. stay, because even when everything feels like it's falling apart, you have a heavenly Father who loves you more than you are physically capable of comprehending and wants nothing more than to gather you in His arms, who has so many plans for you. Who has a future for you. Who created all of the stars and constellations and oceans and rivers and skies, and still knows the number of hairs on your head, because you are His, and He calls you His child. 


stay


stay, darling, stay.

hey friends! I am so honored that my dear friend Grace Anne said yes to participate in Suicide Prevention Week! Grace Anne blogs over at Totally Graced and everything she writes is AMAZING!!! So go check her out, and don't forget to give her lots of love in the comments below!

Monday, September 11, 2017

it isn't the only answer [STAY. ft. julia]


who says leaving is the only answer
who says you're not good enough
and what makes them the authority on that
why has giving up become the chosen option
when darling, there are so many more
it's not like pain isn't real
bc it is
what if pain is a blessing
what if staying could mean the difference between ending your story without really living it
the difference between life and death
doing hard things is hard - that's how its supposed to be
some days you will feel beat
sometimes you'll just cry
it's ok
don't say goodbye to second chances
don't cross off all the available options to the most empty of them all
stay. please. k.


[ okay so this is probably one of the toughest things I've written. it's tough bc its a subject a lot of people have chosen to brush past for many reasons. maybe you don't deal with these thoughts or don't want to think about them...well, whatever it is, they are still real. still there. Elissa emailed me + a bunch of other fantastic bloggers awhile ago. this is part of a post series about staying. about realizing that God has given you this life as a gift.  and that, you're loved. completely and utterly loved  LOVE, J]

in case you didn't already notice, Julia is completely and totally amazing! she seriously blows me away, and I'm so humbled to call Julia my friend! please check out her blogs the barefoot gal & twilight to dawn. And don't forget to show her lots of love in the comments! 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

chasing pink sky

today I am so cranky.
I've been a jerk and fought with my mom.
I've snapped and cracked.
errrr.
I just feel gross,
you know?

I'm tired.
Physically and mentally.

I've danced for what feels like fifty days in a row.
I've bottled bottled bottled emotion.
I'm bracing myself to say goodbye to dear friends and
I just.
don't.
want.
to.
I feel poor and I need to buy: makeup, a planner, sunglasses, and a phone case.
I thought I would be done with school today and I'm not.


It rained all day today,
which felt like a constant reminder of my inside state.
When I was driving home tonight after ballet,
it was still wet.
But it was also lighter than usual for 9pm.
To the left, it was dark and stormy and grey.
The right, however, was pink and yellow and blue.

I would glance through the empty streets of our little town, and see pink sky.
warm, saturated, sky.

You know, we serve a God of reckless grace.
Big, bright, beautiful grace that showers us when we humble ourselves before our God.

today, I'm thankful for grace.
I'm thankful for doughnuts and coffee.
I'm thankful for tears, however embarrassing or inconvenient they may be.
today, I'm choosing to chase the God who paints the sky pink.


Thursday, December 29, 2016

happenings of late


Heyo!

I'm really sorry for my lack of content lately. December has been filled with non-stop dance, and school, and dance and school and dance and school and school and dance. and school. 
The collage search and SATs are beginning to breathe down my neck and so be honest, it's so overwhelming. I've been asked approximately fifty thousand times about my "after high school plans" during this holiday season and I really have nothing to say. I have so many ideas and interests, but I'm struggling to balance reality and dreams.

To be honest, this semester has been nothing I hoped it would be. I'm taking hard classes, but I micromanaged my schedule in September so that it would be manageable. I'm on a good track and I was trying to hard to be ahead of the game, to be prepared and responsible. But then all of the sudden I'm poking at food, staring at text books without seeing a word, and laying awake at three in the morning. Everyone is done with their shallow, public sobs. And we are left missing.

There have been two adult suicides in our little town within the past two weeks. Two. I fight fear of another phone call. Things bring me back to those horrible moments. But I'm looking for beautiful. I'm searching
searching
searching
for hope and the light of Jesus in this time.

The simple things remind me that I cannot do any of this on my own strength- that I need help constantly. My actions need grace. My studies needs perseverance. My relationships need Jesus. And in all reality, this isn't a bad place to be. Because it's in my complete and utter broken and emptiness that I realize my need for a savior.

So this is where I'm at. Thanks for sticking around with me- I really appreciate you guys:)
Also, check out my updated other good stuff page and my latest post on BURNING YOUTH.

much love//elissa

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

letter to the hurting


Hey you-
you who are brave and strong,
yet also hurting and wondering.

you who is crumbling while the world smiles at you emptily,
acting like you are broken in this season of joy.

hey you-
I know it feels like you're alone and everything is falling apart.
I know it your heart is being stabbed over and over and over.
But I also know that it gets better.

I know you want a magic answer to make it okay in a second;
it sucks, because there isn't.
But all this?
It does get better.

These dark clouds will pass.
The sun will shine.
This is a season, not a life sentence.

So please please please
know you are loved
realize that you have so many plans to accomplish
look for people fighting for you.
Because it does it get better.
It totally gets better.



Monday, October 24, 2016

I want a band-aid


My mind is a mess
turning
turning
turning

Swiched on at 3:00am,
yet of at 11:00am.

I want someone to put a band-aid on me.
Fix this mess.
Tape it back together.

But the second someone talks about how
God has a reason for everything
or
Just be thankful for the things you do have
or
Something good is going to happen

I freeze.

Not because I don't know these words to be true,
or because they aren't said sincerely enough.

I know those things are true.

I'm just not ready for them.
I'm not ready for the world to move on,
and act like nothing happened.

I'm trying to function like a normal human being,
but I'm struggling.

I'm struggling because I want tape and glue.
I want someone to say something that fixes me.
I want God to make my world perfect and happy and unicorns and rainbows.
I want the band-aid.

But you know what?
I don't get the tape and glue.
I don't get an easy out.

We get feelings that demand to be felt.
We get people that love us, and are willing to listen.
We get support groups.
We get the dirty and the messy.
The ugly and the broken.

I'm humbled in my need for Jesus.
Because oh, how I need him.
I need him to hold me and protect my fragile heart.
I need him to give me words.
I need his grace and forgiveness.
I need him to be a rock that is higher than I.


Because someday, he will make all things new.

We aren't going to be broken fragments, glued back together.
There will be no more pain and sadness.

For the God of all heaven and earth will wipe away every tear from every eye.
And all things will be made new.

So today, I get the broken.
But I know that someday I will get the beautiful.

Monday, October 17, 2016

blur


A very close friend committed suicide two weeks ago.
Two weeks that contained years, yet I still have to remind myself of the horror that took place.

You guys, I am completely shattered.
My heart is broken, and I'm semi-numb to reality.

This is a mess.
A tragic, dark mess.

I'm struggling to form words, much less coherent thoughts.
I have a pile of school work glaring at me.
I keep waking up throughout the night.
I keep glancing and thinking I see her.

Her dutch braids.
Plaid shirt.
Kaiki pants.
Eyelashes that make you rethink your life.
Smile that lets up the room.

But then I remember her perfect body laying in the casket.

And the reality punches all over again.

You guys, we are shadows here on earth.
Your life contains infinite value.
So.
Much.
Value.

You are precious.
Important.

And there are far
far
far
better things ahead.

xoxoxo

Monday, June 27, 2016

dressing room deductions


I stand in the small dressing room, my eyes surveying the clingy cotton
subconsciously analyzing every millimeter of my torso.

Third dressing room of the day, and the walls begin to choke me.
I'd been happy with nothing.

It all looked bad.
on me.
But not on the hanger.

It took a full 5.789 seconds to deduct 437 negative things about
the shirt
my 'bingo wings'
abs
hair
my life.

So I hung those two cotton shirts up on their plastic hangers
with full knowledge that feelings lie.
thoughts lie.
the mirror lies.

And I grabbed my purse and got out of there.

Today wasn't a great day to be adventurous.
And I'm okay with that.

I'm okay as long as I know that
feelings can be liars.
thoughts can be liars.
And the mirror can be a liar.


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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

we are the travelers


We're all travelers, wondering these roads.
We all are driving through the traffic jams,
the corn fields,
the mountains. 
We're bound to end up on the floor of a rest-station bathroom at some point. 

We're all travelers, making our way through these roads. 
Sometimes slowly.
Other times zipping past reality.  

We all want to make a mark. 
Leave a legacy. 
Change the world.

I inhale the pollution, allowing despair and sadness to fill my lungs.
Cars flying by me with direction.

Yet I feel like I'm in a corn-maze.
Running around, having no idea where I'm going.
Lost. Tired. Knowing clouds are coming.

I'm I traveler, wondering the roads placed before me.
Sometimes I run. Other times I jog.
But not now.

Today I walk.
Inhaling what's before me.
Exhaling pollution.

We all travel these roads.
Will we walk together? 

Thursday, March 10, 2016

When All Time Stands Still



It was a grey car ride. Melancholy filled my lungs as I sat in my pink pants and tunic shirt, staring out the window. It was mostly quiet, for no one really wanted to say anything. As we approached the Seattle, my mom began putting words together. Filling us in on what to expect. “...this is probably it…I think Abbie, Ralph and Cathy might be there...think about anything you want to say…” As we walked briskly up into that little house, my legs brushed the lavender bushes I had spend hours trimming with kitchen scissors. Making sachets. Dread hung in the should-be-cheerful, yellow living room. The kitchen chairs were pulled out in order that we could squeeze. I ate a lot of teriyaki food in those chairs. My Grandma came out from the bedroom wiping a tear. Her daughter, whom she had spent 43 years caring for, was dying. Years spent in doctors offices, conferences for parents with children with special needs, staying up at night. The official diagnosis was Rett Syndrome. My aunt was the longest survivor, the first in America to be diagnosed. Us Weisz women like attention. But not that day. The second I walked in a felt like I needed to leave. My body felt like it was being crushed by a encompassing weight. I sat stiffly, with my ever present ballerina posture, staring blankly at the petite brown recliner. I made her throw pillows to match that chair. I came home from the drugstore armed with nail polish and gave her the best pedicure. As everyone made small talk about who-knows-what, I simply sat. Clenching every muscle subconsciously. Us girls left to grab some lunch. The oxygen felt good. And we returned armed with smoothies. I still remember what I ordered at Jamba Juice. Shuffling into the should-be-cheerful, yellow living room, I sat again. And then, I went in. We went in. 
Into that tiny little bedroom, I stood. I didn’t know what to do or say, or even if I should say anything. I remember running my hands through her hair. Rachel taking a picture or two. My daddy standing against the wall, talking about his sister. I don’t know how long it was. I don’t remember if I said anything. I don’t remember if I kissed her forehead, or said, “I love you.” I don’t remember. Finding myself out in the living room, my brain in complete standstill and all emotion frigid. Then they asked if I wanted to go in again, one last time. Say goodbye. And in that moment, all of the heaviness and sorrow collapsing in around my heart, I lost the battle. I said no. I found myself sitting in the hard, wooden pews at Westside Presbyterian Church just over a week later. Thinking about what I had to say about my aunt and the impact she had on me. In the moment a choose not to tell her those things, whether I needed to say one last goodbye to the woman who told me so much without ever opening her mouth. That day I choose to keep quiet about the impact of a beautiful soul. 
And today, will I lose that opportunity again? 

Thursday, September 24, 2015

beautiful in it's time


A few years ago, Hold On by TobyMac was my current song obsession. The lyrics spoke perfectly to my heart, constantly encouraging me. 
I was so lost in a cloud, walking blindly through a valley.  
   Sadness and pain surrounded me, and for good reason. 
Loss after loss.
 Hurt after hurt.
And months later, I couldn't snap out of it. 
I couldn't shake the little sadness cloud hanging over my head. 
   I used to wake up and sit in a chair, starring off into space for a hour every morning. 
People told me it would be better- but months after these losses, I had less and less of an excuse for my sadness cloud.  

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you can hold on, to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can
stop this crazy love
from breaking through

I held onto God- I let Him lead me out. 
  I felt like I was walking with a blindfold, not knowing the reasons for any of this hurt. 
And God told me to hold on.
   To fight the good fight,
Allowing Him to be my every breath, my every move.

Two and a half years later, I got the opportunity to see TobyMac in person. 
On Sunday, my dear friend Alyse had her 16th birthday and we headed out to see him.



And it was awesome!! We sang Funky Jesus Music and danced and screamed and partied our little butts off.

  I had kinda forgotten about that song until I found myself singing it along with the hundreds of other people in the crowd. And it was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. 

And God kept his promise; he held onto me.
  I'm in a much better place to experience joy!
My heart sings out to God, and his sunshine fills my heart.

He has made all things beautiful their time- he really has.

Q: Has there every been a song that God has spoken to you through?

Thanks for visiting Letters to Jayna!  Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, please take a moment to follow me on Blogger, Google+ and Bloglovin'. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Our God is in Control


This is not how it should be

This is not how it could be

This is how it is


And our God is in control



When we finally will see


We'll see with our own eyes


He was always in control


And we will finally really understand what it means


So we'll sing holy, 


holy, 

holy is our God

While we're waitin
g for that day

When we started this journey

But this is where we are


And our God is in control


There will be sweetness forever


When we finally taste and see


That our God is in control


And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy,

 holy, 
holy is our God


While we're waiting for that day


We'll keep on waiting for that day


And we will rise


Our God is in control





This is not how it will be

And we'll sing holy,
 holy,
 holy is our God

This is not where we planned to be

Though this first taste is bitter

And we'll sing holy,
 holy, 
holy is our God

We're waiting for that day

(Holy, holy, holy) x2

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)




-Steven Curtis Chapman 
 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Watch out Hawaii!


In 21 days I'm going to be sailing across the ocean to visit my long lost friend in Hawaii. We will get to spend 7 days of sunny, tropical bliss, doing what best friends do. I get to meet Jayna's sweet, little baby sister Annalee, whisper all night in her bedroom, and go shopping. Shaved ice is certainly on the agenda, and we also get to celebrate her 16th birthday. In case you haven't noticed, I am pretty excited!

 What I am most looking forward to though, is seeing my friend.

{Jayna and her mom}

The past two and a half years have been long, and kind of lonely without my partner in crime 10 minutes away. My posts were long an sappy and depressing in the months after you left. A lot of sad things did happen right around that time, but I was also covering myself in doubt.

I felt like my hear was being ripped up, and God wasn't stopping it. I remember crying out to God, asking him why he was taking all these people away from me; people that I loved deeply. It was sad; although I see and know that God was walking through those situations, I still don't understand the bigger picture.

 Sometimes that's how it goes.
We question our circumstances.
Our boats are rocked, and we wonder why this happening.

Even though I do finally get to see my friend, I still have no idea what God is doing.

I'm not sure what's going to happen next. But I know that it's gonna end up awesome.



 So now I'm curious. Have you had a situation where you questioned your circumstances? How did it turn out?

Hey, thanks so much for dropping by Letters to Jayna! Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think. And if you like what you see, take a moment to follow me on Google+, Bloglovin, and Blogger. Have a wonderful day!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Stupid

   When we were little, we weren't allowed to use the word stupid. Or dumb. Or idiot.


But Jayna, some idiots are making some stupid decisions, that make me feel dumb, and it really sucks.
 Oh yeah, lets not forget 'sucks'.


I don't write that to rebel, but sometimes strong language is the only thing is describe strong emotion. I am mad.
Mad because people are making decisions for the wrong reasons.
Mad because it just isn't fair.
Mad because I have so much to do, and not feeling motivated enough to do it.
Mad because people don't see integrity. I'm not saying that I have loads of it; I'm just saying it feels unappreciated.
I am mad because sometimes, life can feel stupid. And dumb. And it just isn't very fun. (okay, I made a rhyme, because I'm just that cool)


But yeah. It's frustrating.


             

Saturday, December 21, 2013

christmas blues



                                              
Dear Jayna,
 So Christmas is here, again.
And it comes with party's to go to, gifts to buy, and food to make.
All on top of a room to clean, school to do, and recitals to survive.
Add in friend drama, stomach flu, and a girl who tries to do it all.
And Christmas.....well.....is just kind of there.  Not very much piazza.
        
  God, why is Christmas like this, for me this year? Like, why am I so.....well, kinda depressed.

     And even though I am trying to put on my just keep-going-and-everything-will-be-fine kinda look, stuff just looms there.  Nutcracker was  hard to survive: and I miss you, I miss my aunt, and I miss my Awana leader who died of cancer. it just kind of hangs over me, like a little sadness cloud.

And you know what God, the Lord of the entire universe, has to keep reminding me, his stupid little sheep?
  
                                                   Elissa, it is ok to feel sad.
                                  it is ok to say that things have been a little rough.
                      you are allowed to sit with your feelings. Because your daddy, your
                                        savoir, the one who rescued you from the darkness,
                             Loves you.
you. you you  you  you  you  you  you  you  you  you & you
 
   
You, the girl who yells at her mom.
You, who is mad at your brother for nocking over your nightstand, therefore creating a mess that was never cleaned up.
You, the girl that is jealous at her friends.
You, who is a angry, selfish, stressed, moody, and hormonal human being.
you.

                          I am not very good at remembering that.

And this Christmas, I am feeling God's love. And his amazing, never-stopping, always and forever love.
 And that Jayna, is what this whole Christmas thing is all about.
                                           
                                                Elissa
 
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