Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts

Friday, January 27, 2017

MY VLOG IS HERE *EVERYONE CHEERS*

YOU GUYS, I FINALLY MADE A VIDEO AND I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a few thoughts/disclaimers:
i look bald
i make a werid smacking/pooching sound with my lips in-between sentences
my little brother is practicing his piano in the background
i say "like" alot and sound, like, uneducated
and what is even happening with my eyebrows

So now I will shut up and stop being insecure and let you grab some tea and watch the q & a!!




let me know what questions I missed, and let me reply to all you beautiful people! 

Sunday, January 15, 2017

err, do y'all have questions//potential vlog

you guys, I think I'm going to make a vlog Q&A.
I know.
*everyone collectively rolls their eyes because the bandwagon has already left the station*
^^I'm not really sure what the "bandwagon has left the station" means but it sounds right so......

So if you've ever wanted to ask me why I talk a lot or if I sleep with socks on or off, now is your golden opportunity! Seriously, leave questions in the comments below.

Also, if you wanna watch some awesome bloggers vlogs check out:

Olivia from summer of 1999: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pQKa3El4ys 
Abbie for Abbiee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02IK_g7rU9k
Vanessa from Simply Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGkGqy1afSw
Grace from Totally Graced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJUnDmPvc94

happy sunday!

Sunday, September 18, 2016

back into the blender

I have officially been thrown back into the blender. 
Zap, zap, zap. 

And I am weary and caffeinated, yet it's just the first few weeks. 

I know it's partly because I am sick (going on three weeks!) 
Maybe because I'm overwhelmed with the pure volume of school I have,
trying to manage and schedule every waking moment.
My body is adjusting to six days of dance classes. 
I'm trying to learn my Nutcracker choreography.
It's hell week for Music Man, which opens on Thursday. 
My older sister moves out Wednesday.  

So I sit here with my coffee.
Sip, sip, sip. 

I read your beautiful and thoughtful blog posts, 
all inspired and perfect. 

I really should text that lady back. 
I need to take that French quiz asap.  
My math yells at me.

But I'm sitting here with my coffee, waiting to have our last "pancake day" (yes, this is a thing) as a family before Christmas. 
My naked face and XXL t-shirt, before I go pull myself together for church. 

This is where I'm at. 
I'm sorry this isn't poetic or inspirational.
But that's not how my life is at the moment, and I just thought you should know. 

This blender is exhausting.  
Our lives are exciting and terrifying, all at the same time.
And we, dear sisters, walk these roads together. 



Sunday, August 28, 2016

i am a gossip


it started out as a harmless, giggly conversation.
A silly moment. 
And then all of the sudden my friend looked at me and said,
"Elissa, you do gossip a lot." 

I choked.
I was the only Christian in that room
The only one with the responsibllity to be a bright light in a darkened world.

"It's not nessicarly a bad thing..." She went on.
But the words cut down through all the layers and hit my core.

I am a gossip.

These words taste like vinegar comming out of my mouth.
They rock around in my brain,
Tumbling into every thought.

They cut through my crap and cockiness in which I stood before God last night.

For I am a gossip.

And I hate it.
I hate this ugliness inside of me,
This sword I have deeply misused.

I hate that I'm seen as a gossip to some non-Christian friends.
I hate that I bring shame to the name of Jesus on this earth.
I hate it.

For I am ashamed of this sin.
I am naked in my inadequacies.
And aware of my failure.

And Jesus knows.
He knows me as I sit with my two little gossip buddies,
Yet he loves me fully.
He knows me as I keep record of wrong,
Yet he loves me endlessly.
He hears me tarnish his gift,
Yet he still loves me.
Perfecly.
Completely.
More then I could ever ask or imagine.

For our God loves us so greatly that he will never change the depth of his love.
In any moment.
In any action.
In any situation.

For we, my brothers and sisters, are loved by a very big God.
Bigger then any shame.



Tuesday, May 24, 2016

big eyes


Slamming out of the empty dressing room, late for tap because chemistry went late agian, I crashed into our executive directer.

"Elissa, you are such a celebrity," she said with a smile.
                                       "Oh?"
"All the little girls are so star struck by you. Ruby (her seven-year-old) is all 'I know her. She babysits for me.' You are so popular."

 I replied and rushed into tap, but her words ran over and over in my head.
when are they watching me
those little girls think you hung the moon
"...you're a celebrity..."
"...i know her.."

I remember being those girls so clearly. 
Watching and thinking about how big and cool the 'big girls' were.
Scared to death of them, but in absolute awe. 
And someday, I would be a big girl. 

i am the top level
i am dorothy, traveling to Oz
i carry the show
My whole dance life I've felt a certain degree of invisibility. 
Never quite good enough to leave the corpe. 
Not the most flexible, nor the owner of beautiful arches. 
I've worked and worked and worked, but never front and center. 
Always the corpe. 

A few trios and duets. 
Many times an understudy. 
But never the star.
Never the 'celebrity.' 


I'm a big girl. 
Am I someone they can see Jesus in?
Am I kind? 
Do I work hard?
Am I inclusive?
Do I treat all equally?
Have they heard me talk crap?
Have they watched me roll my eyes behind a classmates back?


Those little ones have big eyes. 
Big, big eyes. 
What are they seeing? 




Thanks for visiting Letters to Jayna! Please take a moment to leave a comment to let me know you dropped by. Have a wonderful day! 

Sunday, March 13, 2016

list of happy tag


///List of HAppy///
words// joy, adagio, any thing in french, poppy, dark chocolate mocha, bumfuzzle, fobbed

movies & tv// the office, grey's anatomy, roman holiday, white collar, the blind side, sherlock

scents// hot taco soup, fancy perfume, hairspray, breakfast foods, steamy espresso, freshly printed paper, shampooed hair, clean car smell. 

songs// anything Bach or Vivaldi (with no harpsichord), 7 Years, Say Something (Postmodern Jukebox version), exes and ohs, Fight Song, Adele's entire new album, and Colors

books// to kill a mockingbird, footnotes, life in motion, the Narnia series, if i stay,

random// writing quotes in fancy handwriting, gifts, snail mail, movement, holding babies, shower at the end of the day, mascara, new pointe shoes, new clothes

tags// HannahAshley, Hannah, GraceLeah

mentions// thanks for the lovley Kate @ the goodness revolt for the tag. She is seriously the best and I want to be her. Soooo yeah. Ya'll go check her blog out. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

the other side of the screen


I sit here curled up in a ball.
Yoga pants and a sweatshirt cover my leotard and tights. 
I stare at this blank page, this blank post.

how do i use my voice? 

One of my goals for 2016 was to be more real. To display the complete package .
Some will view it as a beautiful wrapped present, and others will view it as a crumpled package on the floor. 
It scares me slightly. 

But I also know I long to see the imperfections of others. 
I want to know I'm not alone in my weakness and failures. 
My soul craves the naked truth of the gospel. 

grace.

 I don't try to act like someone I'm not. 
but
I am an A student. 
I am a extrovert (for the most part) and have a inclusive personality. 
I am responsible. 
I volunteer.
I communicate well. 
I avoid conflict.

I also think negatively about people.
I am a gossip. 
I make judgments about people based of their appearance. 
I over commit myself. 

What draws me to people? 
Honesty. 
A sense of 'realness'.
Inclusiveness. 


To be vulnerable, I have to risk facing your judgments of me.
And at some point, that cripples me. 
I need people to like me. 
My blog is designed to show you something you want to read. 
I want you to like my pictures, my writing, heck, even my fonts. 

But are you gaining anything of value from my font? 
Are you going to walk away from your side of the computer screen feeling relationship? 
Feeling you can relate?  

is this stupid? 

I want real.
I want truth.
I want the funny embarrassing stories. 

That's why I tell you about when I peed my paints on a hike. 
That's why I tell you about my nutcracker withdraw sympotoms
It's why I love awkward and awesome.


So I sit, curled up in my safe and cozy chair. Contemplating hitting the publish button.
My cocoon of quietness pushes me to take advantage of this rare moment. 

but will I?

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Infinity Dreams Tag//Random things about me



Grace from Totally Graced (yeah, go check her blog out!) was so kind and tagged me for the Infinity Dreams Tag. She was cruel and unusual with her questions, but being the kind soul I am, I will persevere. Here we go!

Discribe your best friend in one sentence
  - A stunningly beautiful girl who is really me in a different body.

How do you like to wear your hair? 
  - I have four hairstyles: up, down, ballet bun, and homeless. My hair is so weird (my sisters say it's hormonal because  you can never predict what it's going to do. It might be really curly. Maybe wavy, maybe fluffy and straight(ish). You never know) Usually I pull in back because it takes less work and it's going to get sweaty in a bun later.

What song lyrics describe your life? 
  - Gosh, this is a hard one! So many good songs I've been listening to. I don't know if this counts, but I really have been loving Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin. I'm not a big fan of Chris Tomlin, and his songs are soooooo overplayed, but this one... I don't know. I've just been meditating on it.

  
Worst book you've ever read? 
  - Oh without a doubt the "Trojan War". It. Was. Terrible.

How do you want to spend the rest of your life? 
  - (Grace, how am I going to narrow this down?????)  I want to spend my life loving people deeply and personally. Loving Jesus with everything I am. I want to stay focused on what is true. I want to spend the rest of my life using every gift, every idea, every passion for the God of the universe. I want to be vulnerable in my failure and hurt. I want to spend the rest of my life dancing, raising children, and pushing myself past every limit. I want to look back and know that I have been used to my fullest extent.

Best class you have ever taken?
  - I'm liking chemistry even though it is totally trying to kick my butt. I liked the human anatomy part of biology. I like my English class. I don't think I can really pick one!

Who has most impacted your life? 
  -Oh goodness, another hard one. Really, all my dance teachers have impacted me so greatly. They have pushed me and guided me. They have taught me big and important life lessons, and helped me discover joy in my body. My closest friends have impacted me deeply. They have walked me through dark times, and been listening ears with wise advice. My older sister has been my partner in crime (well, really the brain of the crime...) she has impacted me in more ways then I could ever imagine. But if I really had to pick, it would be my parents. They have taught me to learn, to persevere, to be the first to apologize. They have taught me about being a good friend, a good student, and a leader. Mainly, they have impacted me by example.
Whew. That got long and rambley. (and yes, I know you just skimmed that)

What inspired you to start a blog? 
   - Beginning in middle school, I have loved reading blogs. I like the format, the different writing styles, the content. When Jayna moved, I begged her to blog with me. And that is how Letters to Jayna was born.

Can you cook? What is your favorite recipe? 
   - I pretend I can cook. I can follow recipes, but not cook cook. And oh gosh, I have a lot. I just made white chicken chili which was really good. I also have good recipes for homemade granola bars and french silk chocolate pie.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
   - This is so cliche, but I want to live in New York at some point. Not forever, but for a while:) I mainly want to travel a lot!

What is your favorite movie quote? 
   - I have lots, but this was the first that came to mind


I now nominate:
Joanny @ Joanny White
Here are your questions:
  1. White, milk, or dark chocolate? (and there is definitely a wrong answer here)
  2. What are you reading right now?
  3. How do you de-stress? 
  4. What is something small that brings you joy?
  5. What drew you to blogging? 
  6. What are you favorite kinds of blog posts to read? 
  7. Do you still shave your legs in the winter? (I'm actually really cirrus about this one...)
  8. What song(s) are you currently obsessed with? 
  9. What is a quote that perfectly describes your life at the moment?
  10. What is one thing that makes you you? 
Have fun!


Thank you so much for visiting Letters to Jayna! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think- I reply to each and every comment. Also, please take a moment to follow me on Pinterest, Google+, Bloglovin', and Blogger. Have a great day! 

Saturday, February 13, 2016

39 thoughts



  1. uhhh, why am I so tried 
  2. oh right, I didn't really sleep last night
  3. I am always in a perpetual state of tiredness
  4. like whenever anyone asks me how I am, I'm tired 
  5. It's a little weird
  6. But coffee is good
  7. so that kinda makes up for the tiredness
  8. but.....
  9. I need to stop spending so much money on coffee
  10.  Its so bad
  11. especially now that I can drive
  12. because I can stop whenever I want
  13. and for food
  14. which is worse because I'm going to weigh 200lbs by June
  15. great
  16. Cramp
  17. wait, was that a actual cramp?!?
  18. It cant be
  19. IT JUST ENDED
  20. yup, this is definitely a cramp
  21. whhhhhyyyyyyyyyy 
  22. I hate this
  23. I want to watch a movie
  24. why did I just eat all that chocolate
  25. what the heck tomorrow's valentines day I can eat what I want
  26. yeah!
  27. I'm all stiff and achy with my tired headache
  28. but hooray for yoga pants
  29. and these ones are really comfy
  30. so soft and so sleek
  31. I want more chocolate but I also want real food
  32. why must life be so hard
  33. And why do I have all this school to do
  34. and why did no one buy me tickets to my absolute favorite ballet that is going on right now 
  35. the injustice.
  36. They should make a law banning school on the weekends
  37. Because I cant remember the last time I didn't do school on a weekend
  38. that is so sad. 
  39. Sniff.
 

Friday, December 4, 2015

Carousel Days



One of my earliest memories is of my grandparents taking by older sister Rachel and I into downtown Seattle in the midst of the Christmas season. We would take the bus and ask my Mimia to kiss us after she put her lipstick (in order to obtain some red color for ourselves). After wandering the streets in our matching Hannah Anderson jackets, lunch would take place in the Nordstrom Cafe. We would browse the racks of designer childrens clothing, never to buy, just shuffle through. Sniffing Channel on our wrists, we would strut down to meet my Hungarian Grandpa at the carousel.


I remember joyous surprise after my Grandpa buying us more tickets in order that we ride again. 
Decorating their house for Christmas. 
Helping Mimia set up the Christmas village. 
Creating a detailed gingerbread house, complete with individual sides not to be crossed. 
Rachel's non-stop words pouring out after the magical day.  



Since than, years have passed. Two more siblings joined the picture; we moved out of the city. 
My grandpa's life was taken by a stroke, leaving my Grandma to carry out these traditions with her much-to-busy grandchildren. 

  We make it down to Seattle every December to satisfy my mom with a Santa picture (we now have over 15 years of consecutive Santa pictures...) and we try our best to hop on the carousel. 
Gingerbread house making has disintegrated, as we never ended up eating the sugary confection. I think the Christmas village found itself at the Goodwill.


 We now realize this is the last year with all the kiddos in the house, available to be dragged of on these adventures. Collage breaks will become our best shot to squeeze moments like these in. 
But you know what? 
New Christmas traditions will be made.
Spontaneous moments of joy will occur. 
And I will always treasure these carousel riding, gingerbread making, Nordstrom shopping, Christmas village decorating days of fun. 
  
Q: Do you have any treasured holiday memories? 

Thanks for dropping by! Please leave a comment and let me know what you you think. Also, feel free to find me on Blogger, Bloglovin' , and Google+. Have a wonderful day!

Monday, November 9, 2015

I don't look at fitspiration: here's why

 

I don't look at 'fitsporation'.
I don't believe we should use shame and jealousy to motivate ourselves into making healthy choices.
I don't believe losing weight is the key to success.
I don't agree that I am a bad person if I eat a cupcake.
 
I don't want to stare at six packs and thigh gaps all day.
I refuse to believe loosing weight is the answer to bigger problems.
 
I do strive to be healthy.
I try to eat whole foods, drink lots of water, and exercise at least 5 days a week. 
 
But I don't need my perception of healthy or beauty distorted by "motivating" tips.
I don't think women need to use pictures to motivate them to become healthy.
I think women need to understand they are valuable no matter what size they are.  
 
So there, I said it.
I don't look at fitsporation, at that's why.
 
Thanks for dropping by Letters to Jayna! Please take a moment to leave a comment and let me know what you think. If you like what you read, please follow me on Bloglovin', Google+ or Blogger. I look forward to hearing from you! 


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

What I've Been Listening To

(photo via http://psd.fanextra.com/articles/25-inspiring-examples-of-music-photography/)

Today, I'm going to give you a miniature playlist of a few of my current favorite songs. These are the guys playing over and over and over on my ipod. I hope you enjoy, and maybe get some new favorites!
   
    Before I start though, I have to tell you something. I have weird eclectic taste in music. I have a love for pop, really good worship music, I love classical, and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for musicals. I love indie rock, and some classic rock. I am that person that doesn't care for country music. (Sorry country music fans!)

1. Beautiful Things by Gungor 

2. Thrift Shop by Postmodern Jukebox

3. Like Real People Do by Hozier

4. Holy Spirit by Francesca Battiatelli

5. Waltz of the Flowers by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Q: What have you been listening to?

Thanks for visiting Letters to Jayna! Please take a moment to follow me on Google+, Bloglovin', and Blogger. Also, feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment

Thursday, September 24, 2015

beautiful in it's time


A few years ago, Hold On by TobyMac was my current song obsession. The lyrics spoke perfectly to my heart, constantly encouraging me. 
I was so lost in a cloud, walking blindly through a valley.  
   Sadness and pain surrounded me, and for good reason. 
Loss after loss.
 Hurt after hurt.
And months later, I couldn't snap out of it. 
I couldn't shake the little sadness cloud hanging over my head. 
   I used to wake up and sit in a chair, starring off into space for a hour every morning. 
People told me it would be better- but months after these losses, I had less and less of an excuse for my sadness cloud.  

So baby hold on
just another day or two
I can see the clouds are
moving faster now
and the sun is breaking through
If you can hold on, to the one that's holding you
there is nothing that can
stop this crazy love
from breaking through

I held onto God- I let Him lead me out. 
  I felt like I was walking with a blindfold, not knowing the reasons for any of this hurt. 
And God told me to hold on.
   To fight the good fight,
Allowing Him to be my every breath, my every move.

Two and a half years later, I got the opportunity to see TobyMac in person. 
On Sunday, my dear friend Alyse had her 16th birthday and we headed out to see him.



And it was awesome!! We sang Funky Jesus Music and danced and screamed and partied our little butts off.

  I had kinda forgotten about that song until I found myself singing it along with the hundreds of other people in the crowd. And it was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. 

And God kept his promise; he held onto me.
  I'm in a much better place to experience joy!
My heart sings out to God, and his sunshine fills my heart.

He has made all things beautiful their time- he really has.

Q: Has there every been a song that God has spoken to you through?

Thanks for visiting Letters to Jayna!  Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, please take a moment to follow me on Blogger, Google+ and Bloglovin'. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Discover new blogs- Liebster Award


Hello friends! Yesterday I was nominated for the Liebster award by Mikayla from The Bubblegum Ballerina.  The purpose if this is too meet and discover new blogs, and I am so excited to participate. Read on to hear the answers to the questions Mikayla asked me! 


1. What is the funniest thing you've done this week? 
      This wasn't as much funny as humiliating at the time, but looking back, it was kind of funny. My mom and I were out running errands, and one of our stops was Target. We each found what we needed, and met up at the checkout. My mom, upon realizing she had forgotten to grab something, left me with our cart in line. The only checkout line open. I started checking out our stuff, and pretty soon I was left with two things in the card. Two packages of pads. Lots of pads. I hand the packages to the 20-something checkout guy, (without making eye contact) and he proceeds to plop them right on top of the cart. And my mom is still not back. The line has grown. I'm standing, waiting awkwardly while everyone in line is staring at the pads in my cart. I just wanted to scream, "I HAVE SISTERS, okay?!?!?!?" It was terrible.  


2. Are you on summer break? If so, what are you doing with your free time? 
     I am on summer break for the most part; twiddling my thumbs. No, I have been heavily rehearsing for a show that just ended this weekend. I've also been babysitting :) 

3. What is ONE of your favorite songs? 
     Hmmm, I am definitely a music junkie. However, I'm a bit obsessed with the music from The Lion King right now, and I especially love They Live in You.





   
4. If you could do anything right now, what would it be? 
     Buy a plane ticket to Hawaii, and vist my friend Jayna. Who doesn't want to go to Hawaii?
 
5. What book(s) are you reading right now? 
      This is kind of embarrassing, but I recently picked up some of the Miss. Piggle Wiggle books. These where childhood favorites of mine, and I am loving rereading them! I've also been trying to make a habit of picking up my Bible regularly, which is serving me well. :)
 
6. What's your favorite part of blogging? 
      Hmm, I definitely enjoy most aspects of blogging, so it is hard to pick a favorite! However, by far the most rewarding thing is receiving comments from readers who were able to relate to my content, and be encouraged. It makes my day, every time!
 
7. What are some of your blogging goals? 
      Well, my number one goal is to write helpful content that reminds readers that they are not alone! I try to be honest and vulnerable in my writing, because as young women, it is easy to isolate ourselves and feel like we are the only ones.  
      Selfishly, I would love to grow my readers, but if I can touch one heart through this blog, then it is worth it.
 
8. What's the hardest part about blogging for you? 
      Staying motivated to post frequently. I sometimes wonder if anyone even reads this silly, little blog, and I can certainly make a number of excuses to not post.
 
9. What is your favorite word?
      As far as sounds, and the English language goes, definitely the word prologue. But love is another important word to me. I write it on little notes to myself everywhere.
 
10. Could you share a miscellaneous fact about yourself for us?
       I love to play violin and piano. Not at the same time. Is that lame?
 
11. Sweet or unsweetened tea?
        This is a trick question! Sweet tea is too sweat, but I can't stand unsweetened tea unless the tea itself is good tea. So does unsweetened tea, with some raw sugar count?

I would like to nominate the following bloggers:



   Elizabeth at Whimsical Thoughts 
Jayna at Letters to Elissa


I will be sending questions your way!



Thank you so much for stopping by my piece of the internet! Please take a moment to follow me though Blogger, Google+, and Bloglovin. I look forward to hearing from you! 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

You can't make everyone happy-You are not Nutella.

You guys, I finished biology and English.

I know!!! *This is where you applaud*



  It has been one of the longest, hardest school years of my life. I spent many, many, many, long hours hunched over a laptop or sitting at my kitchen table smelling brain smoke. My eyeballs have felt like they were on fire from all the work mean-old-me was making them do. I'm sure my teachers are excited to finally stop receiving five e-mail's from me, per week.

  Last week was the academic award ceremony/graduation of the seniors. It was long and I was ready to go home, take of my bra and make-up, curl up to do some Facebook stalking. The redeeming factor was the little stack of certificates and a ugly plack.

  ....... Honor Roll
   Chapel Team....
.....Peer Tudor..
     ....Student of the Year...

It was a satisfying feeling to stick those in my portfolio.

When the buzz-buzz of alarm number three went off the next morning, math was the first thing on the "productive agenda". The math that I got seriously behind in, and will be doing for the next month or so. And even though my teachers told me nice things, and I was given congratulatory hugs, and I had a nice stack of papers; you guys, I felt like a failure.


 A very stupid failure.
Someone who didn't get a single top grade.
Someone who abandoned her French.
Someone who was the stupid child who would never graduate high school, all because she didn't get her lazy butt to do Algebra.

  And I invited those stupid lies into my heart. I let them hang out.
And let me tell you, they made themselves very comfortable. And they called in their friends.

I'm not going to go into the gritty details, but it wasn't a fun place.

 You guys, I am not the very-stupidest-person-to-ever-crawl-the-earth.
I am not a failure to my teachers.
  I am a hard worker, who's high standards are my demise.
I am a valuable and loved child to my parents.
   My friends believe in me, and don't dwell in my flaws.
Most importantly, I am perfect and complete servant before my God.

 What about you?

Are you the "disappointment child"?
The "ugly duckling"?
  The "worst friend ever"?

No. You are not. You are not to lost, to wrong, or to 'whatever' to change the world.
Your demands of yourself may be working against your design from God. Now, I'm not saying dedication and perseverance are wrong or bad. I think these are some of the most important character traits to develop. But if you are like me, and let lies sneak in because of this, hear me.
No good can come from listening and believing lies.



Remember- we are works in progress in God's timing. Not our own.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Dear Annalee

Dear Annalee--

  Hello, and welcome to the world! My name is Elissa, and I am writing this to you from a island town in Washington. I met your biggest sister, Jayna, here a little over four years ago. Your brother hadn't even made his entrance yet; he was still cooking. :-)

This is going to be a fun adventure! I am so excited that you are here. I will take you shopping, and drive you around; know you are always welcome in my house. I'm sure your family will introduce you to the ocean pretty soon- I'm across that ocean! I know your sisters can't wait to paint your nails and dress you.

I hate to tell you this, but what people are going to do to you isn't always going to be fun. That mean nurse is going to make you cry. Your poopy dippers are going to have to be changed. I'm sorry to break it to you, but sometimes your just going to have to nap.


Jayna and Annalee


Little Annalee, you are a beautiful, precious blessing. There are gonna be times when you hear a small voice tell you that you are not a miracle. Big people are gonna tell you that your too young. You are going to be let down when someone tells you no. Sweet baby, it's not always going to be fun.

But whatever happens in this big world Annalee, you will always have your family loving you and cheering you on. Your mama is a amazing lady, and she will always stand up for you. Your dad love you more then you know, and will always hang out with you. Your three big sisters are there for you too: Jayna will always let you be the princess. Sky will give you a push on the swing, and sweet Lilly will always make you laugh. Your big brother will forever watch out for you, even though he originally thought you were a fish.


I know it's probably not as cozy here then it is in your mama's stomach.
There's lots of weird smells too.
But those people that are holding you?
They are amazing, Annalee Maribel.

  I cannot wait to meet you, my new extra sister!

love you,

   -Elissa

Thursday, May 7, 2015

10 Rather Unusual Facts About Me

  1. I have been chased by a moose.*
  2. I died a part of my hair hot pink (temporarily!) at my very first youth event in 7th grade. I know. So rebellious. 
  3. I have a weird fetish about burping- it totally grosses me out!
  4. I was born in a ambulance on the freeway
  5. When my big sister and I were little we would fill our t-shirt up with sand from our sand box and act like we were pregnant. Surprisingly, our parents didn't find this nearly us funny as we did. 
  6. Even though I have gnarly dancer feet I wear flip-flops all the time. 
  7. I wouldn't mind marring a Australian. Just throwing that out there. 
  8. I hate hate hate gardening. Mainly, I can not stand pulling weeds. Killing my back to puck little jerks out of the ground that are going to grow back next week isn't my idea of fun. 
  9. I always feel uncomfortable when people ask me if I like my teacher. Umm, she cooked me for nine months inside of her body, changed my poopy diapers, wiped my sandy nose, has served as my short order cook, and gives me a hug every single morning. But what kind of teacher won't let you dissect a sheep heart on her kitchen table?
  10. I play the violin- and not very many people know that. So shhhh.
So now I'm curious- what are some weird facts about you? 

*I'm just going to leave this up to your imagination.

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Monday, March 30, 2015

I wonder


(photo credit here)
I was born in a ambulance
Bright red and white
A sign, perhaps,
Of what is to come?

I was born at 8:07 on a Sunday morning.
Always in a hurry, struggling to rest

I wonder about my being born-
Why I made it out,
But the next beating heartbeat in my mother's womb did not.

Why God chose me to gasp in
Exhaling in scream

What He had in mind when
Sculpting,
Composing;
Designing my soul.

What immense work
I was knit to accomplish  

I’m perched here.
     Waiting
           Preparing
                  Learning.

They say the sky is limitless
That you can do anything,
Be the person you want

How can you embrace yourself
While striving to become
The person you wish to be?

How can you do anything
When told no?

I wonder these things.

Sometimes I fantasize.
Me wiping runny noses,
cooking dinner for my sweetheart.

Applying thick make-up  
Ready to run on stage,
To dance?
         To sing?
                  To act?

 Sitting in a clinic
Befriending muscles and bones
A framed parchment on the wall.

On a set  
Screen behind
Waiting to tell America their morning weather.

I wonder these things.

I wonder what God made me

    To fulfill 

Sunday, March 8, 2015

This is the part where you find out who you are


 


This is when you learn to dance in the pouring rain.
  Now is when you learn to lean on God's grace
In your tears, you are able to choose bitterness or forgiveness
   This is when you overcome
Now is when you shape tomorrow
   This is the part where you find out who you are

There are things pulling at my heart that are not of God.
    Anger. Bitterness. Entitlement.
Every human reason to pitch a temper tantrum because Life isn't fair!!! sits in my heart. I want justice.

   "But Jesus was saying, Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves. " -Luke 22:34

I don't have that kind of grace. And forgiveness? Yesh.
   I say I am a follower of Jesus; this is the part where I find out who I am.

-Elissa

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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

29 Thoughts I Had This Weekend


1. Horrayyyyyyy!!!!
2. I made it!
3. Cramp
4. Crap.
5. There is no way I'm going to spend the weekend cramping
6. Advil sounds like  plan
7. Heating pads are good
8. It's really cold.
9. How am I going  to think if it's cold
10. Why do they make kids do a certain number of hours doing school?
11. Technically, couldn't your parents just forge your high school diploma?
12. I wish my parents were sneaky like that
13. But then I would be really dumb
14. Dumber then I am now
15. Can you fake smart?
16. I don't think so
17. Some homeschoolers are no schoolers
18. They don't really do anything
19. Maybe I should check Facebook instead of send this important e-mail
20. I don't think it's that big of a deal
21. I just see if I have any updates
20. Wait.
21. That's her new profile picture?
22. Wowzers
23. Quite the hpmm-boob-cough picture
24. Oooooohhhhhhhh, BuzzFeed quiz
25. I wonder what type of car suits my personality the best
26. No way
27. That's not right
28. I need to take it again
29. Ohhhhhhhhhh, another quiz!!!
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