Thursday, February 9, 2017

being raw in a pulled-together world




In all reality, the past few weeks have contained long, hard days.
Teary, emotional, gut wrenching, make you want to hide-in-a-hole-for-no-apparent-reason kinda days.
I sat in my car and screamed between sobs.
I vocalized questions that I will never know the answers to.



And then suddenly the earth is covered in a sparkling white blanket.
Everything was canceled.
People were stuck.
And all I could do was stare out of the snow globe,
sip coco and Facebook stalk.

Sit in the quiet.
Breathe a little.
Put on my smartwool.
And remember that it's necessary to stop and breathe.

Because at some point,
I've got to postpone putting my big-girl pants on.
Stop pulling it together.
Open the bottled emotion. 



I had a meltdown over the phone a few days ago.
And as I hung up, I told myself that the meltdown was over.
get it together Elissa
everything's fine and I'm just being hormonal.

But I think I was wrong.
I'm learning that I have to stop constantly pulling-it-together,
and allow myself to be a little raw.

Friends, this is me being raw.
I usually like to write posts a safe distance away from the uncomfortable, so I can wrap it in a pretty bow for you.
I try to give resolution and show God's hand.

But life doesn't always have immediate resolution.
And I think it's so so so important to remember that God's hand is in both the pretty and the dirty, whether we see it or not.

So I'm gonna try be a little raw for a while.
I'm going to talk about it.
I'm going to remember that
God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; 
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 
God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, (1 corth. 1:27-28)
I challenge you to do the same.




16 comments:

  1. I sooo get this. Life has been the same for me lately...so many questions. I know that being raw is so important , but very difficult at times. Love you girl! <3<3<3

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    1. it is so so difficult <3
      love you too girl- keep being brave!

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  2. wow this amazingness should be illegal or something

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  3. This was SOOOO beautiful and amazing, I REALLY, REALLY needed to read this today!!!!!! <3

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  4. I am touched to hear that you are feeling inclined to write about everything you are going through recently. I love reading these kinds of things because I get reminded that others feel the same way I do and I feel how they feel. It's comforting. (:

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    1. Thanks so much Vanessa <3 And I know the feeling. You are not alone!!
      xoxox

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  5. 1. You are so brave.
    2. That verse was the perfect way to finish this.
    3. I hope things get easier for you.

    (Because when you're lost for words, writing a list helps. Seriously Elissa, your posts are so relatable and well worded, I never know what to say.)

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    1. 1. Trying to be brave is my life mantra lately SO HEART FLUTTERS JESSICA
      2. thanks
      3. thanks thanks thanks. Me too girl :)

      ANd your words are so dear and thank you thank you thank you

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  6. gosh i really really like you and legit reading this i feel so proud to call you my friend and i miss you so this is me sending you lots of love and hugs and letting you know we need to hangout soooooon

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  7. So true and I really needed this <3 thank you for this :)

    Ellie
    www.uniquelyyou1.blogspot.com

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  8. I hope everything gets better for you, or easier to bear. I couldn't stop admiring your writing style as I was reading this - beautifully raw. :)

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  9. I love you so much, Elissa. Being raw is truly one of the hardest things. I'm praying that things get a bit easier for you soon. Sending endless hugs.

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