Sunday, August 28, 2016

i am a gossip


it started out as a harmless, giggly conversation.
A silly moment. 
And then all of the sudden my friend looked at me and said,
"Elissa, you do gossip a lot." 

I choked.
I was the only Christian in that room
The only one with the responsibllity to be a bright light in a darkened world.

"It's not nessicarly a bad thing..." She went on.
But the words cut down through all the layers and hit my core.

I am a gossip.

These words taste like vinegar comming out of my mouth.
They rock around in my brain,
Tumbling into every thought.

They cut through my crap and cockiness in which I stood before God last night.

For I am a gossip.

And I hate it.
I hate this ugliness inside of me,
This sword I have deeply misused.

I hate that I'm seen as a gossip to some non-Christian friends.
I hate that I bring shame to the name of Jesus on this earth.
I hate it.

For I am ashamed of this sin.
I am naked in my inadequacies.
And aware of my failure.

And Jesus knows.
He knows me as I sit with my two little gossip buddies,
Yet he loves me fully.
He knows me as I keep record of wrong,
Yet he loves me endlessly.
He hears me tarnish his gift,
Yet he still loves me.
Perfecly.
Completely.
More then I could ever ask or imagine.

For our God loves us so greatly that he will never change the depth of his love.
In any moment.
In any action.
In any situation.

For we, my brothers and sisters, are loved by a very big God.
Bigger then any shame.



8 comments:

  1. This is a very good reminder. Thank you Elissa, I needed this today *big hugs*
    -Em

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  2. Thanks for being so honest - this is thought-provoking, and yet encouraging too: For we, my brothers and sisters, are loved by a very big God. That was my favourite line. xx

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  3. This is such an encouraging post! Thank you for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Thank YOU Maddy! I so appreciate your words!

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  4. <--- Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking. This was beautiful and I love you so much <3 I admire you honesty. We all gossip and sin way too much, but thank God for His amazing grace and love. This was an awesome reminder.

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