Thursday, April 28, 2016

Retreat in the Midst of Chaos

I sit listening to the gentle waves. 

Sunlight beating into my heart. 
I think about the light of Jesus I prayed about this morning.

Typical 'retreat sentiments'
             {excerpt from my journal, February 12, 2016} 

I skimmed over these words as I flipped to a blank page last night.
Remembering those quiet moments, while I was free to be still.

I think about the ocean I drive by everyday.
The tides going in and out, compatible with the moon.
How complex those simple moments are.

I have four weeks left of school. A research paper to write. Math to complete. Two science exams, along with my history papers.
My sister is graduating.
She has to decide where she will spend the next four years of her life tonight.

I am Dorthy in our dance school's production of The Wizard of Oz. 
We are going host family and throw a graduation party.
I am going to drink coffee and write papers late into the night.
Enough sweat to fill a lake is about to seep from my pours.

Rest? Calm?

During finals?
While my one of best friend packs to leave?
When I wait in the wings, preparing to dance a full length ballet?

I asked God about peace last night.
I poured out my thoughts, my questions, my heartache.
And although my eyelids were drooping and my mattress encompassed my exhausted body, I read my words from that day.

My 'retreat alone time' journal entry.
My thoughts during that weekend.
And although it was a bubble, it wasn't the only time I experience this peace.

I experienced it this morning as I globed on mascara.
I experienced it as I drove to class.
I was at peace during my test.
My soul is at peace, because of Him.

Today, I pray you will find calm in the storm.
I hope you will find joy in the ordinary.
I pray you will anchor yourself on the peace of Jesus.

And may you know how loved and valuable you are in the chaos of this crazy life.


  1. calm in the storm. i love that. i need to find the peace. xx

    [dang, i wish i had 4 weeks left. unfortunately it's more like 7-8 for me]

    1. xxx, i will pray for you my dear:) And, ahh, I am so sorry! That is the worst... if it makes you feel any better, my math might be a little longer then that....ahemmmm. I hope you are able to find some quiet in the next few days!

  2. ...Wow. Definitely needed to read this.

  3. I have a few months of school to go before summer, my room still isn't unpacked from a few weeks ago (we just moved) and I have 2 major tests Friday, I completely understand!
    Wishing you the best of luck
    Hugs from Hayley xx

    1. Aww, that's rough! I'll be praying so you :)
      Hugs right back at you!
      Thanks for dropping by!

  4. I'll be graduating in a few weeks. Definitely need that peace which passes all understanding!

    1. Wow, congratulations! I'm sure you can do it! :)


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