font-family: 'Dawning of a New Day', cursive; Letters To Jayna

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Our God is in Control


This is not how it should be

This is not how it could be

This is how it is


And our God is in control



When we finally will see


We'll see with our own eyes


He was always in control


And we will finally really understand what it means


So we'll sing holy, 


holy, 

holy is our God

While we're waitin
g for that day

When we started this journey

But this is where we are


And our God is in control


There will be sweetness forever


When we finally taste and see


That our God is in control


And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy,

 holy, 
holy is our God


While we're waiting for that day


We'll keep on waiting for that day


And we will rise


Our God is in control





This is not how it will be

And we'll sing holy,
 holy,
 holy is our God

This is not where we planned to be

Though this first taste is bitter

And we'll sing holy,
 holy, 
holy is our God

We're waiting for that day

(Holy, holy, holy) x2

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)




-Steven Curtis Chapman 
 

Friday, August 21, 2015

Drying Out Blisters with Cornstarch

My summer ballet intensive thingy-m-bob started this week. And goodness gracious my calves are seriously feeling the burn. 

  Of course I got a blister on day one, so I thought I would share how I dry them out with cornstarch in order to get my pointe shoes on the next day. :)

1. Start with 2 Tablespoons of 100% pure corn starch in a small bowl




2. Then add a few drops of water


3. Stir until you have a thick, glue like consistency



4. Now it's time to sterilize your needle- you can use rubbing alcohol or fire. I opted for fire. Take your sterilized needle and pop the blister if not already poped.  Squeeze the fluid out with your (clean!) hands.


5. Now take the cornstarch mixture and pour it over the blistered area. 


6. And vola! You will want to leave this on for about an hour before gently rensing it off. Don't cover it, but try and let it breathe. 


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Sunday, August 16, 2015

today




Today, I arise with a grateful heart.
The sound of rain reminds me of the storms I have been pulled out of.

I choose to give thanks, and rejoice in this day.
I choose to look for God's gifts to me.

I will remind myself of the never failing love I have received,
and do my best to dispense it to those around me.

Today is a gift.
You have filled my lungs with life.
You beckoned me from dark, to light.

And I choose to give thanks.

Warm nights gazing at the stars.
Good friends filling the kitchen with laughter.
Snuggles from a sleeping 4 year old.

   Your heart fills me.
       Your love surrounds me.

Who am I?

Who am I God, to receive these gifts?

I will worship you today.
Fully
Passionately

I will surrender my schedules, my agenda, my goals.
  I trust that your plans are better then my

You will give me joy, when I align myself with your character.
You will give me strength when I cry out to you.
You will answer my unspoken needs.

Today, I will find you in the little things.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Cleaning the Floors- Part Two

 
On day two we served dinner to the homeless of Portland. It was a lot calmer then breakfast had been, as we had a significantly less number of people (but still a lot!) Before dinner, Union Gospel Mission does a church service with music and a speaker. We were told to sand as people came in, as to not take up seats.
 
  As I was standing, I got a awkward feeling about me. Watching these people come in, seeing their plastic bags, smelling the drugs, and feeling my heart break. God hit me, reminding me that these are his people. It was so humbling to share in a tiny, little piece of others lives, and for the street friends to allow us to witness their truly vulrible state.
 
  And I thought about how judged I would feel if a group of teenagers sat in the back, watching my every move.
 
I found myself in the partially inhabited front row, singing 90's worship songs.
I found myself wondering about all the emotion in the room.
What I would be feeling if the tables were turned.
How raw we sat before God.
Some in disbelief. Others in awe.
These are Jesus's friends.
 

 
In a calm moment, I sat at a table chatting with a few of the street friends. This woman, she reminded me of someone.
 
It was the woman on the floor.
  Yet she wasn't dirty- she had a fresh shirt on. Clean hair. Dirt-less nails.
I thanked Jesus for cleaning this woman. For cleaning the floors.
And we began a conversation.  We both care to much about what others think; we both try too hard to please everyone. We share a second child position, yet we have different numbers of siblings. I asked her if I could pray for her once again, and if there was anything unparticular I could pray for.
 
  She asked if I could pray for safety. She looked me in the eye and told me she had been raped so many times, and if I could pray that it would lesson, that would be great.
 
Rape.
 
  How many oceans of pain could this have created?
 
I tear up as I type this. Not because "it showed me homeless people are real people too," or something equally dumb. But because it still hits me. It still makes my heart skip a beat. It reminds me that we are surrounded my pain, and this life will be full of it.
 
  So I cried out to God. It was the first time I have ever been angry with God, and it wasn't happy. I asked him how he could allow this to happen. I asked why this evil, this pain, this heaviness that I feel so deeply could be tolerated by my loving and just God. Why could this happen?
 
  God held me in his hand as I cried out to him. He let me yell and scream and feel the feelings I needed to feel. But he calmed my heart. He gave me comfort.
 
We sung of this Jesus, and his heart for his kids.
     Others shared the heaviness of what we had witnessed and herd.
 
It was beautiful.
 
 It was beautiful because the Holy Spirit was fully alive in us.
Because we are His.
Because he has filled us with life.  

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Saturday, August 8, 2015

Cleaning the Floors- Part One

 
Hello friends! As you may know, I went on a mission trip to Portland OR with my youth group a few weeks ago. This is part one of a story I wanted to share with you. :)

On the second night of the mission trip, a sat wide awake in my little corner of the Sunday school class room. I had been lightly dozing, but was failing to fall asleep. We had gotten in bed around 11:30pm and I was trying to sleep before we would get up at 4 to serve breakfast to the homeless of Portland.

  It was hot, I was exhausted, and despite my efforts I couldn't sleep. I then proceeded to give God a little lecture about how 'I really need to sleep so I'm not a grumpy cow in the morning. Seriously God, can you please help me fall asleep? I can't serve these people if I'm not emotionally preset. Pllleeeaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeee.'

 And after I had prayed my whinny little prayer, and laid in my sleeping bag for a while God really clearly spoke to me. "Elissa, you need to clean the floors." 

"Wait, what?"
       "Clean the floors"
"Ummm, like now? You want me to get up and clean these laminate Sunday school classroom floors?" 
       "You'll know"

  We arose at 4:00am to eat some breakfast, pray, and hop in the van to head downtown. We helped prep. breakfast, set up, and then we began serving meals. It was very overwhelming work- people were pouring in by the masses, hungry and cold. Some were covered in sores, some yelled at themselves, while others were so high they didn't know their own name.

 Homelessness isn't new to me, but the heaviness of these peoples hardships burdened my heart. We made a point to treat our street friends with dignity, as we would to any person. It was so sad to see faces light up when I called them 'sir' or 'mam', or made eye contact as I wished them a good day.

  I had been periodically sitting down with people and near the end I sat across from a lady finishing her breakfast. You guys, this woman was so dirty. Her black bare feet were contrasted to her pale skin. Her hair was greasy, her clothes had obviously been well loved, and dirt encrusted her long fingernails.

   She had ended up with eight lid-less styrofoam containers filled with eggs and gravy. Stuffing these containers in a reusable tote bag, that obviously didn't have room, I got down on the floor with her. She showed me her second bag and the bottom was lined with squished blackberries. The juice was bleeding through, creating a huge mess. A huge, huge, mess.

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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Watch out Hawaii!


In 21 days I'm going to be sailing across the ocean to visit my long lost friend in Hawaii. We will get to spend 7 days of sunny, tropical bliss, doing what best friends do. I get to meet Jayna's sweet, little baby sister Annalee, whisper all night in her bedroom, and go shopping. Shaved ice is certainly on the agenda, and we also get to celebrate her 16th birthday. In case you haven't noticed, I am pretty excited!

 What I am most looking forward to though, is seeing my friend.

{Jayna and her mom}

The past two and a half years have been long, and kind of lonely without my partner in crime 10 minutes away. My posts were long an sappy and depressing in the months after you left. A lot of sad things did happen right around that time, but I was also covering myself in doubt.

I felt like my hear was being ripped up, and God wasn't stopping it. I remember crying out to God, asking him why he was taking all these people away from me; people that I loved deeply. It was sad; although I see and know that God was walking through those situations, I still don't understand the bigger picture.

 Sometimes that's how it goes.
We question our circumstances.
Our boats are rocked, and we wonder why this happening.

Even though I do finally get to see my friend, I still have no idea what God is doing.

I'm not sure what's going to happen next. But I know that it's gonna end up awesome.



 So now I'm curious. Have you had a situation where you questioned your circumstances? How did it turn out?

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Friday, June 26, 2015

week 21- Sharing the Joy




Last weekend was my performance; the long awaited, exhaustedly rehearsed, event of the semester. The show was titled A Tribute to Broadway, and each piece was biased off of a Broadway play or musical. I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves :-)


These were from The Lion King, featured lots of African movement. I had a sinus infection and fever, so I was mostly breathing out of my mouth :-)




Ballet was Into The Woods, which was a ton of fun. 

 (the Into the Woods director/one of my ballet teachers)




Tap was Sing, Sing, Sing, from Fosse. 





     




       
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