Wednesday, February 22, 2017

hey God, it's me, elissa.


Why can't I just learn all the life lessons already?
Like, seriously God.
All this waiting and unknown is getting kinda old; can't you just tell me what you're thinking?

I know dependence on you is a good lesson and all, but I was kind of hoping to be done with it by now.

Maybe we could move on to joy?
Or, say, faithfulness?
I could settle for a real good conviction on teaching Sunday school twice a month, as opposed to once a month.

God, I'd appreciate some clear "how to" manuals, if that isn't too much to ask.
Yeah, the Bible is awesome and all...
but I'm not exactly finding the answers I was looking for.

You see, I was looking for closure on some trauma.
I looked and it told me that trauma is part of the broken world,
and you hold me in every situation.

I was hoping you could take my guilt from me,
but the Bible said that I needed to lay it at your feet.

I asked about a situation that I would like to stay silent in
 (hint: I was looking for some backup)
But then the Bible said something about speaking truth loudly, which wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for.

So okay, fine.
 I'll try to learn grace and contentment and peace and self-sacrifice.
I'll remember: your will. not mine. 

But if you happen to change your mind, feel free to drop of that instruction manual.
It's the second mailbox.  

Thursday, February 9, 2017

being raw in a pulled-together world




In all reality, the past few weeks have contained long, hard days.
Teary, emotional, gut wrenching, make you want to hide-in-a-hole-for-no-apparent-reason kinda days.
I sat in my car and screamed between sobs.
I vocalized questions that I will never know the answers to.



And then suddenly the earth is covered in a sparkling white blanket.
Everything was canceled.
People were stuck.
And all I could do was stare out of the snow globe,
sip coco and Facebook stalk.

Sit in the quiet.
Breathe a little.
Put on my smartwool.
And remember that it's necessary to stop and breathe.

Because at some point,
I've got to postpone putting my big-girl pants on.
Stop pulling it together.
Open the bottled emotion. 



I had a meltdown over the phone a few days ago.
And as I hung up, I told myself that the meltdown was over.
get it together Elissa
everything's fine and I'm just being hormonal.

But I think I was wrong.
I'm learning that I have to stop constantly pulling-it-together,
and allow myself to be a little raw.

Friends, this is me being raw.
I usually like to write posts a safe distance away from the uncomfortable, so I can wrap it in a pretty bow for you.
I try to give resolution and show God's hand.

But life doesn't always have immediate resolution.
And I think it's so so so important to remember that God's hand is in both the pretty and the dirty, whether we see it or not.

So I'm gonna try be a little raw for a while.
I'm going to talk about it.
I'm going to remember that
God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; 
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 
God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, (1 corth. 1:27-28)
I challenge you to do the same.




Saturday, February 4, 2017

tomorrow morning


hey.
tomorrow morning when you brush your teeth,
scrunched over the sink, 
looking like death,
remember that you're beautiful.

don't say no.
don't hide
or cover up
or run away.

remember that you are powerful and brave.
remember that you are flawed yet perfect.
know that you carry light that can brighten the darkest of places.

so you,
you beautiful soul,
stand tall.
take a deep breath.
exhale.
today, remember who you are.

Friday, January 27, 2017

MY VLOG IS HERE *EVERYONE CHEERS*

YOU GUYS, I FINALLY MADE A VIDEO AND I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a few thoughts/disclaimers:
i look bald
i make a werid smacking/pooching sound with my lips in-between sentences
my little brother is practicing his piano in the background
i say "like" alot and sound, like, uneducated
and what is even happening with my eyebrows

So now I will shut up and stop being insecure and let you grab some tea and watch the q & a!!




let me know what questions I missed, and let me reply to all you beautiful people! 

Monday, January 23, 2017

15 resons you're worth it


  1. because you have talent
  2. you hold power
  3. because you give
  4. you are beautiful
  5. you are unique
  6. you are loved
  7. your light shines from within
  8. you have joy
  9. you contain forgiveness
  10. because you make people laugh
  11. you have admirers
  12. you are smart
  13. you are loved
  14. you are so so special
  15. you're worth it. so very worth it.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

err, do y'all have questions//potential vlog

you guys, I think I'm going to make a vlog Q&A.
I know.
*everyone collectively rolls their eyes because the bandwagon has already left the station*
^^I'm not really sure what the "bandwagon has left the station" means but it sounds right so......

So if you've ever wanted to ask me why I talk a lot or if I sleep with socks on or off, now is your golden opportunity! Seriously, leave questions in the comments below.

Also, if you wanna watch some awesome bloggers vlogs check out:

Olivia from summer of 1999: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pQKa3El4ys 
Abbie for Abbiee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02IK_g7rU9k
Vanessa from Simply Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGkGqy1afSw
Grace from Totally Graced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJUnDmPvc94

happy sunday!

Saturday, January 7, 2017

the unspoken anniversaries


Sometimes days come that we don't want to acknowledge.
They may sneak up on us;
or maybe they shout out their coming arrival.
Whatever the case may be, the calender still turns.
The memories of days past still come.
And these memories we face become anniversaries.

Anniversaries of things that can't be mentioned in chit-chat.
Memories that are held close,
stored deeply in our very being.

We're not to talk with strangers about these things.
Sometimes, we can't talk with anyone about these anniversaries,
these feelings.

But the days arrive and the thoughts unpack.
The sun rises in order that we might live through this.
We convince ourselves that we are meant to walk through these anniversaries alone,
although nothing could be further from the truth.

So when the day arrives, stand tall.
Look it in the eye.
Gather your troops- friends, chocolate, movies, family, journals, phone calls- whoever they are.
Let them walk the day with you.
For you, dear one,
are not meant to face these days alone.